Fair warning. It's in French. And while I'm not fluent, I can understand a bit and I'm very familiar with the plot of Shakespeare's play. So unless you speak more French than I do, be prepared to take what I give you and be confused when I am. As far as I know, this may be the worst decision of my life. Adaptations of R and J tend to be on the...really, really bad side. But I like French musicals and I like Shakespeare, so I'm gonna go for it.
Alright so we start off with a really long monologue with a cheesy burning heart thingymabobber in the background. After a LOT of credits. How many people worked on this thing? The opener is also really long and really cheesy. It's something about love stories and the moon and the 'night and the guitars'...wait, what? Never mind. I'll skip along for you. It's pretty much the same thing from here on out. Love, blood, and rhetoric. (+2 nerd points if you caught the reference) I'm literally going to skip forward on this thing. Just bear with me and imagine the chorus of Romeo and Juliet being done twice as long at less than half the speed and--
ACK. WHO'S THE CREEPY LADY? WHY DOES SHE LOOK LIKE A VAMPIRE? IS THAT...Juliet? Maybe? I certainly hope not. She freaks me out. Her eyes are...weird.
BLUE LIGHTS UP. Those are the Montagues. I'm pretty damn sure of it. Blue and Red is always the color scheme. And if my calculations are correct...
DRAMATIC RED LIGHT. Ha! I was right! They run in a jerky formation at each other. Or...stomp. Or...wait, it's over?
That was disappointing. Let's keep going, I guess. I want to get to something. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KJk0KZjTdI&feature=related
GAH! Why is Creepy Lady still there? Get her away from me! What exactly IS the purpose of her continously looking up at something? Is this a motif? Wait...that's just the end of the last video.
Ahem. Anyway. Moving on. LIGHTS. A couple people run towards each other. The set looks like a Lego castle set. And GET OUT OF MY FACE CREEPY LADY. Are you the chorus? Are you the angel of doom or something? I don't get you...
She waves her hand. Some pop-y music plays and everyone's...laughing. Okay, so we're on the streets of Verona. I guess. Makes as much sense as anything else.
Then a dude comes in and...dear god that's a shiny coat. That's a really shiny coat. With lots of bling. And fur. He must be Escalus. They bow to him. No fighting yet. But I'm in lurve with his voice. And his hair. I don't know why. He's being creepy.
Aaaand his shirt is sparkly too. Why am I not suprised? It's hard to understand what they're saying, but it's something about living in Verona and there seems to be some tension. Creepy Lady flaps her sleeves. Seriously, who is she? This song is growing on me. I sincerely hope the rest of the soundtrack keeps up with it. And if that's Romeo withe the boy-band frosted tips...kill me now. I'm assuming the redhead is Lady C, and she's freaking me out a bit.
And STOP IT Creepy Lady. WHO. ARE. YOU? The more I look, the more ridiculous the costumes are. There's a guy in a blue jacket that seemes to be poofed out into spikes. If that jacket doesn't feature prominently, I will be sorely disappointed.
Creepy Lady keeps existing. I'm going to call her Lilly from now on. It suits her and I have no other ideas. I kinda like this song. And Escalus's voice. I hope he's in here more. Lilly flaps around some more. Get off the stage and let the man sing. I'd really like that. You look like the Mummy meets the Bride of Frankenstein in a blender with stupid sleeves. Escalus has cooler sleeves than you do. Take that.
Now the music is all sad. NOW IT'S ANGRY. The red shirt guy is going cray-cray. Someone backhand-springs across the stage. Lilly fwooshes around. There's a bunch of screaming. Someone tell me what's happening.
Does this mean...oooh. Are we going to fight now? Jolly good. I love a good skirmish. This is getting intense. I might need some popcorn. And now there's two dudes in the middle. The servants from the beginning of the play, I presume. Maybe Lord Capulet and Lord Montague. It's Freaky Beard vs. Lance Bass. I'm intrigued. There's some highly choreographed dancing while they walk dramatically towards each other. Freaky Beard gives Lance Bass a 'you got served' gesture and Lance Bass tackles him.
Escalus is back! Yay! Didn't he just leave five seconds ago...nah, forget it. He yells and flails his arms a bit and Lilly stands there looking devious. I still don't like her. It's going to take a lot for that to change.
And my thoughts on the color scheme were right. It's always blue and red. He says he's pardoning them this once, but if it happens one more time, the prince is gonna go medieval on 'em. And then it's over.
Thoughts: I'm gonna give this a chance. Prince Escalus better come back and Lilly better prove herself. Peace out.
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