What are these things and why do I want to read them?

I want to read medieval historical fiction. Save me.

After searching 'Plantagenet' on Amazon, I was bombarded with sweeping tales of illegitamate daughters and kings' sisters longing for romance and adventure so hard Disney princesses would disown them. And you know what? I feel like torturing myself a bit: I actually want to read them.

I tend to not like female protagonists in medieval settings.They're always 'ahead of their time' and 'strong-willed', meaning I have to sit through a score of princesses trying to show up the royal guards and join the ranks of generally pig-headed soldiers who I could honestly care less about. No one thinks like women would have in the 1300s, 1400s, what have you, in the least bit.. All they do is but heads with authority and patriarchy and I do not give one damn about how feminist it is. I didn't come here for premature feminism via medieval Mary Sues. And yet...I am intrigued.

So I'm going to find a medieval historical fiction novel. I am going to read it. I will probably not enjoy it. And if I find one, you will probably hear no end to my opinions. But hey. That's why you read this blog anyway. Now if you'll excuse me, I will probably finish this NaNoWriMo in January at this rate and Richard II is not depressed enough to provide wordcount.

MIND: BLOWN

So I decided to watch Shrek 2 today, reliving those miraculous days when the Shrek franchise was still good. (I was one of those people refused to see the fourth movie, FYI. Too many memories to ruin.) Drifting along in wonderful nostalgia, I started recalling blissful memories of the first movie. Then it hit me.

I would hope anyone who has likewise enjoyed the first two movies would recall Lord Farquaad. If not, here's a reference.

Got that image in your head again? Good. Prepare yourselves.

So I recently also sat down with my computer for a good dose of Laurence Olivier on Youtube (also currently in the process of making a guide to watching his Richard III). Now brace yourselves. Remember what Laurence Olivier looked like as Richard III?

LOOK AT THAT. Same hair, name face, same color scheme. Think about it. Really think about it. Lord Farquaad is Richard III. Tell me I'm not the only one who sees it.

NaNoWriMo Dares

I'm sorry to leave you so soon after I came back, well...yesterday. But I before I leave you for November for National Novel Writing Month, I have another task for you.

Dare me.

I am currently accepting NaNoWriMo dares for my wonderfully depressing little novella about Richard II, Mockery King of Snow. And so, my lovely readers, if you have an odd little request floating around in your head, help a blogger out and maybe I can get 50,000 this year. Gramercies.

The world totally ended because I forgot to post, right?

In other words, I'm dreadfully sorry I haven't been on here in while. I can't imagine what kind of life you would lead without me to summarize sappy French musicals or ramble about pro-Tudor biases. I've been busy. Very busy. Too, busy, one could say. Put rest assured, I have been productive. For instance...

I currently have half a sketchbook filled with Richard III costume designs for the production I someday hope to direct. *fingers crossed, three copies of the play at my side, insistance that I am not obsessed at all thank you very much*

I went to a wonderful little NaNoWriMo kickoff where I found out there are people who appreciate my nerd-shoes and my novel's plot.

I spent nearly six hours at the Ren Fest in which time I purchased a muffin hat (*squee*) and a plague doctor mask, became dazed and confused, accidentally soaked my entire sleeve in garlic, and lost 2/3s of my group. I swear it was actually a good day.

Restarted my current novel. And my other current novel. A month before I have to write another one. No, I do not have too many books going.

And just for waiting around for me, here's a preview of the shirt I plan on wearing to the next Twilight movie.

 Now to order it.

You there. I have a task for you.

Yes, you.
Behind the computer.
Don't think I don't know you're there.
Since there seem to be one or two people who read this thing, I have a propostition for you. And it's not a poll, I swear. But I do want you to suggest something.

Inspiration struck when reading my new find, 'Royal Blood: Richard III and the Mystery of the Princes', which is my second book with that famous Princes in the Tower painting on it. You know, this one: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Princes.jpg
I was asked who the two girls on the cover were. Getting on with the point and hearing tales about daughters of noblemen disguised as men because the family needed an heir. Jokingly, I said, "However crackpot that theory is, someday I will back that up with historical fact."
Then I realized: I have a history blog. I'm in the right position to do this sort of thing.

So I want you to give me the most crackpot theory about the midieval ages you can possibly come up with. Weather it's the previous notion that Edward V was a girl or if you want me to prove that Henry IV and Richard II were the same person, go ahead. Suggest it down in the comments. I'll pick the most entertaining of my options and run with it.

And make a...*gasp...WEB COMIC about it. The choice is yours, readers. Wherever you are.

Dear Historians: The Tudors? Really?

Sorry for the brief reprive from R&J, but I thought we might need it .As I complained in my last post, I have a huge beef with English history sections in bookstores.

THE TUDORS.

I don't have a problem with the Tudor dynasty itself. It was a pleasantly dysfunctional time when it came to succession and problems with the nobility. Problem: where'd the Plantagenets go?
I have previously explained my plight at Half Price with attempting to find a book on Richard II. I did once find a book on Richard III and ended up buying it for a buck, but that's not the point. You have to SIFT. And I mean sift through those books. Last night, I came out with one book from the history section.
So is there any explaination for the Tudor phenomenon, or am I just the only one who notices? It's hard to be a late medieval period scholar these days...

Watch Along: Roméo et Juliette (part 8)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQK3_vkKRak&feature=related

Okay, so after watching 'Les Rois du Monde' a few million times in a head-bobbing trance, I'm moving on to this song. Please don't disappoint me, new song. I'm on a good music high and I don't like to be taken down a notch.
The music is sad now. This is gonna be a sad song. No, look, writer! I don't want a sad song after that! You're horrible at transitions! Ooooh, Lilly's back. This isn't looking good. Romeo's all emo again. Boo-hoo, Romes. You're going to a party. I feel so bad for you. Why are you whining? Stop it.
H'okay, you can't act. What's with the dramatic fainting motions and making squinty-faces? Lilly comes up behind him. Lilly, you're creepy. Romeo, you still can't act. And, oh, you're 'scared'.

...Of what?

And why is Lilly flailing you around? How are you singing from that position? LILLY, STOP GROPING PEOPLE... Or blowing on them creepily. I have to wonder: where did this sudden moment of sheer terror come from? You were just dancing merrily a couple minutes ago.
Not saying this isn't a pretty song. Or his voice isn't kind of awesome. It's just...the acting. And the context. Do we have any clue why Lily's here yet? Seriously.
If I were Romeo, I wouldn't be singing. I'd be trying to get the freaky lady with the mummy bandages off my back.
So do we get that Romeo's scared yet? Because he's scared. He's totally scared. Of what, I don't know. But he's scared, alright. So scared, man.
Ah, phew! Mercutio's coat is back. Romeo, presumably, goes back to party hard.

Thoughts: Lilly. What the hell is she? Why's she trying to make a move, albiet and invisible one, on Romeo? AND WHAT IS ROMEO SO DAMN TERRIFIED OF?